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xx Phantom Callie Kicked a Hole Through a Barn
« Thread started on: Nov 11th, 2010, 11:04am »

This here is a true story about how Phantom Callie once kicked a hole through a barn. It might’a been somewhere up around Snowflake, near the spot where Travis Walton had what some folks like to call his “close encounter.” I call it too much sun and too much Jack Daniels.

She and Clay had just finished a horse ride. Them horses was lathered up good cuz the sun was blazing down on the Arizona desert so hot you could fry an egg on the sidewalk. That is you could fry it if you had an egg, and if you could find a sidewalk in that blistering desert. I guess a rock would have to do. Point is, it was a sizzlin’ day.

Like I said, their horses had been rode hard and put up wet, as the saying goes. After they stabled them horses in the barn, Phantom Callie pulled the brim down on her Stetson and asked Clay, “Hot enough fer ya?” I guess she was makin’ a joke.

Clay gave Phantom Callie that squinty-eyed, Clint Eastwood-type stare of his and said, “You call this hot?”

I figure he was tryin’ to make a point, cuz then Clay pulled out a small leather pouch and started rolling hisself a smoke. He flicked a wooden matchstick with a gnarled thumbnail, lit his hand-rolled smoke and took a long drag. He blew the smoke in Phantom Callie’s direction.

Clay looked sardonically at Phantom Callie, saying, “That’s what a day like this calls for.”

Phantom Callie just gave Clay a hard stare from under the brim of her hat and watched as Clay carelessly tossed away the still smoldering match. This is where the fun started.

Clay should’a been paying attention, because the match landed under some tumbleweeds lodged against the side of the barn. It bein’ so hot and all, it immediately caught fire.

“What in tarnation!?!!” yelled Phantom Callie as the side of the barn started to burn. Them timbers was dry as a bone.

Clay looked on stupidly as Phantom Callie ran toward the well for a bucket of water to douse the flames. She threw the bucket into the well, but it come up empty. Like many others in that desert, that well had gone dry.

“Don’t just stand there smoking, ya durn fool! Get the hosses out of the barn!” shouted Phantom Callie.

Clay ran to the barn door, but the opening was burning now and the heat was too intense for him to enter. “I cain’t get inside!” he yelled as he and Phantom Callie heard the frightened horses neighing and kicking against the stalls.

“Never send a man to do womenfolk’s work,” muttered Phantom Callie under her breath.

She ran to the side of the barn, sized it up, and launched a terrific kick at the weathered planks. Her booted foot smashed a huge hole in the side of the burning barn! Phantom Callie pulled away a few broken boards, jumped inside and led the two frightened horses out of the blazing inferno. She glared at Clay with a soot covered face as the barn continued to burn.

Clay, looking on helplessly, muttered, “Well I’ll be tarred and feathered.” He dropped the cigarette he’d been smoking from his hand and stubbed it out with his boot. “Damn,” he said. I guess that’s just one more reason folks shouldn’t smoke.

And that’s my recollection of how Phantom Callie kicked a hole through a barn. True story, pardner.
« Last Edit: Nov 11th, 2010, 11:06am by Zaph » User IP Logged

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